ignoring the signs can be costly

While most people were running round doing last minute Christmas shopping and preparations on Christmas Eve morning, I was having emergency dental surgery to remove damaged nerves.

A while back, one of one my bottom tooth at the back chipped off a little bit whilst eating. I kept postponing visiting the dentist to get it sorted out and as time went by, the hole got bigger. In the last week the pain became unbearable and was causing sleepless nights and lack of concentration at work. I took a lot of pain killers, used teething gels and tried different home remedies i found online, which helped sooth the pain, but only for a while, as eventually the pain would come back, especially at night.

I had an emergency appointment yesterday because i couldn't bear spending Christmas in agony or bed bound! I discovered that the cause of the pain was because the nerves were infected and damaged and I had two options ; either remove the hole tooth or kill and remove the nerves, have a root canal then have a crown placed over the broken part of the tooth. I chose the latter, even though I know it's going to cost me several hundred pounds, but in the long run it will be beneficial for me then having a big gap, which will cause discomfort while eating.

It is not how I imagined to spend my morning at all. I had plans to go to work, leave early, do some Christmas Food Shopping, buy a new dress for Saturday etc, but those plans changed as a more urgent need surfaced.

While I was sat in the chair, having the treatment, I started comparing this bad situation to how we sometimes behave towards things in our life. They are things or even people in our lives that are not good for us and even though they are clear warning signs telling us something is wrong, we choose to ignore or tolerate them. We can even try to carry on as normal and brush things aside, but unless they are “treated” or “removed” completely, the hole we are digging will get deeper and deeper and so will the pain and discomfort and in the end the consequences of not letting go or dealing with it sooner, will be costly!

This could be a bad friendship / relationship, an addiction, grudges, bad eyes towards someone, low self esteem, an attitude, negative way of thinking, bad habit, to name a few!

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The grass is green where you water it!

I can remember when I used to look at the lives of other people and wish to have a life like theirs. I didn’t want the life I had and thought if only I can get to where they are, I will be fulfilled. But just because they appear to be happy, it does not mean that they really are.

Many of us know the saying “the grass is greener on the other side.” I used to think that it was until I came to the realisation that the grass is greener where I water it. I even tried moving to another city but that failed because it was not what I had envisioned. It was a lot tougher than I thought and I found myself in a worst position then before.

 Many people move cities, countries, jobs etc in the hope of finding a fulfilled and happy life but through my own personal experiences, I have learned we can turn sour lemons into sweet tasty lemonade where we are. The place we go will not make our conditions perfect; we are the ones who make the conditions perfect by doing things that will change our lives and make us happy, and it starts within.

When we change our attitudes towards things, let go of what is wearing us down (and most of the time that includes people) we start to see things in a different light, gain a positive mindset and start achieving things thought we never could.

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Spending time alone

For quite a while now, I have been having lunch at work by myself. I usually arrange with a colleague or a friend to meet up and have lunch together but lately I have preferred to be alone. I was never like this before. I was a person that had to be around people as much as possible. I could not stand being alone. Now things are different.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a loner. I do enjoy being in other people’s company. I spend most days (in the evening or at weekends) with friends or family but I also enjoy my own company and I think it’s something we should do regularly. It may seem odd for many, because we live a very social society where having many friends, connecting with the community and being part of something is highly encouraged, and rightly so. We develop our communication skills and learn from other people’s life experience through interaction and building relationships with others. But I also believe that solitude helps our personal growth.

If we never take time out to be by ourselves, how we will truly know ourselves? How we will be able to think about our life, where it’s taking us and what it is we need to do in order to change it?

I really value my time alone because its there that I discovered who I was, what I wanted and what I needed to do to become the person I wanted to be. Many times our lives are dictated by our circumstances and other people’s opinions because we don’t know what we want. We don’t take time out to discover what we want.

 I didn’t like myself much. I was plagued with insecurities, complexes and fear and that’s why I hated being alone. When I started to receive help for these things and learned to love myself, I no longer hated being alone. I believe when you are at peace with yourself, you start to look at yourself in a positive light, you start to be comfortable with who you are and you really enjoy your own company.

The help I received was not professional. It was spiritual help, help I received from God and those who He put in my path to guide and help me become a better me. I am still a work in a progress and have a lot to change but I am happier and in a better place then I was before.

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Ruined image

I work in a large building with thousands of colleagues and to be honest, I don’t even know every person who works in my department (there are around 600 in total) never mind those from the other departments. However, there is a lady at work who dresses really pretty. Whenever I saw her, I would think “wow, she’s always dressed elegantly.” She really does make an effort and it makes her stand out.

A while back, I was in the ladies toilet washing my hands, and she came out of the cubicle and headed straight for the door. She just flushed the toilet, and went out without washing her hands! I was quite shocked! At that moment all that prettiness and elegance went out of the window for something as trivial as not washing her hands. Every time I saw her I couldn't help but think of that moment in the ladies toilet. Even when I didn't want to think about it, every time i saw her, it would come back in my mind and I couldn't look at her in the same way I did before.

I couldn't help but relate this experience to the way our image or the way a person looks at us can be damaged because of the way we said something (in a rude, harsh way), we promised to do something or go somewhere and we failed to keep our word and worst, we didn't even apologise for not doing it. Or maybe we acted in an inappropriate way and that hurt someone who admired us. I know that nobody is perfect! In fact we will never be prefect because we make mistakes but that doesn't mean that we cannot at least try our best to live an exemplary life and have an exemplary conduct. The way we act, react towards things and behave says a lot about who we are as people, and if we act negatively, we can end up damaging our image.

 How many famous people, people in power and who were once greatly admired have had their image destroyed because they had an affair, we’re caught taking drugs, found out to be an abuser and the list goes on? Though they try to do a lot of good works, especially charitable works to take away that negative label they now have, they will always be known as that president who had an affair, that singer who beat up his girlfriend, that actor who fell into a drug addiction….Some people just can’t give them the respect they once earned through their talent or good will.

We should watch ourselves so that we too don’t end up having a negative label because we failed to watch our conduct and control ourselves.

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My new hobby :)

I always labelled myself as someone who was not creative at all! I would look to people who knew how to mix and match clothes well, come up with their own creative designs and pull off a neat outfit, and think “woooow they’re so creative and talented.” But I never had the audacity to step out of my shell and try to learn how to be creative.

If I wanted something done, I would ask others to do it for me. If I had old, ripped and stained clothes, I would bin them. I never thought about recycling or making a new outfit or bag out of them. I have really nice skirts and tops that I haven’t worn for a long time, simply because of a small tear or broken zip, that I could have fixed by now! The truth is, I was being narrow minded, lazy had been procrastinating until now!! I was inspired and finally took action on the inspiration given to me to start recycling old clothes, re-using stained and ripped clothes and being creative with my wardrobe. 

Yesterday I sewed two pieces of clothing to make one…as you can see below. I currently have a bag full of clothes that need altering and I have so many ideas in my head and on paper of what I am going to do with them! I’m aiming to work on one piece of clothing each week and I am looking forward it. It’s funny, something I wasn’t interested in doing for myself, has become something I am excited about!

 I didn’t feel like learning how to sew again and being creative with my clothes, but when I decided to do it anyway, regardless of whether I felt like it or not, I learned two things: 1) If we keep waiting to feel like starting something, we will never start because our feelings are like the weather, they change all the time. 2) Creativity is something we can learn and develop, if we are willing to invest time into it.

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