Thursday, 25 December 2014


While most people were running round doing last minute Christmas shopping and preparations on Christmas Eve morning, I was having emergency dental surgery to remove damaged nerves.

A while back, one of one my bottom tooth at the back chipped off a little bit whilst eating. I kept postponing visiting the dentist to get it sorted out and as time went by, the hole got bigger. In the last week the pain became unbearable and was causing sleepless nights and lack of concentration at work. I took a lot of pain killers, used teething gels and tried different home remedies i found online, which helped sooth the pain, but only for a while, as eventually the pain would come back, especially at night.

I had an emergency appointment yesterday because i couldn't bear spending Christmas in agony or bed bound! I discovered that the cause of the pain was because the nerves were infected and damaged and I had two options ; either remove the hole tooth or kill and remove the nerves, have a root canal then have a crown placed over the broken part of the tooth. I chose the latter, even though I know it's going to cost me several hundred pounds, but in the long run it will be beneficial for me then having a big gap, which will cause discomfort while eating.

It is not how I imagined to spend my morning at all. I had plans to go to work, leave early, do some Christmas Food Shopping, buy a new dress for Saturday etc, but those plans changed as a more urgent need surfaced.

While I was sat in the chair, having the treatment, I started comparing this bad situation to how we sometimes behave towards things in our life. They are things or even people in our lives that are not good for us and even though they are clear warning signs telling us something is wrong, we choose to ignore or tolerate them. We can even try to carry on as normal and brush things aside, but unless they are “treated” or “removed” completely, the hole we are digging will get deeper and deeper and so will the pain and discomfort and in the end the consequences of not letting go or dealing with it sooner, will be costly!

This could be a bad friendship / relationship, an addiction, grudges, bad eyes towards someone, low self esteem, an attitude, negative way of thinking, bad habit, to name a few!

ignoring the signs can be costly

09:23 Sibon Phiri

While most people were running round doing last minute Christmas shopping and preparations on Christmas Eve morning, I was having emergency dental surgery to remove damaged nerves.

A while back, one of one my bottom tooth at the back chipped off a little bit whilst eating. I kept postponing visiting the dentist to get it sorted out and as time went by, the hole got bigger. In the last week the pain became unbearable and was causing sleepless nights and lack of concentration at work. I took a lot of pain killers, used teething gels and tried different home remedies i found online, which helped sooth the pain, but only for a while, as eventually the pain would come back, especially at night.

I had an emergency appointment yesterday because i couldn't bear spending Christmas in agony or bed bound! I discovered that the cause of the pain was because the nerves were infected and damaged and I had two options ; either remove the hole tooth or kill and remove the nerves, have a root canal then have a crown placed over the broken part of the tooth. I chose the latter, even though I know it's going to cost me several hundred pounds, but in the long run it will be beneficial for me then having a big gap, which will cause discomfort while eating.

It is not how I imagined to spend my morning at all. I had plans to go to work, leave early, do some Christmas Food Shopping, buy a new dress for Saturday etc, but those plans changed as a more urgent need surfaced.

While I was sat in the chair, having the treatment, I started comparing this bad situation to how we sometimes behave towards things in our life. They are things or even people in our lives that are not good for us and even though they are clear warning signs telling us something is wrong, we choose to ignore or tolerate them. We can even try to carry on as normal and brush things aside, but unless they are “treated” or “removed” completely, the hole we are digging will get deeper and deeper and so will the pain and discomfort and in the end the consequences of not letting go or dealing with it sooner, will be costly!

This could be a bad friendship / relationship, an addiction, grudges, bad eyes towards someone, low self esteem, an attitude, negative way of thinking, bad habit, to name a few!

Tuesday, 17 June 2014



I can remember when I used to look at the lives of other people and wish to have a life like theirs. I didn’t want the life I had and thought if only I can get to where they are, I will be fulfilled. But just because they appear to be happy, it does not mean that they really are.

Many of us know the saying “the grass is greener on the other side.” I used to think that it was until I came to the realisation that the grass is greener where I water it. I even tried moving to another city but that failed because it was not what I had envisioned. It was a lot tougher than I thought and I found myself in a worst position then before.

 Many people move cities, countries, jobs etc in the hope of finding a fulfilled and happy life but through my own personal experiences, I have learned we can turn sour lemons into sweet tasty lemonade where we are. The place we go will not make our conditions perfect; we are the ones who make the conditions perfect by doing things that will change our lives and make us happy, and it starts within.

When we change our attitudes towards things, let go of what is wearing us down (and most of the time that includes people) we start to see things in a different light, gain a positive mindset and start achieving things thought we never could.


The grass is green where you water it!

14:38 Sibon Phiri


I can remember when I used to look at the lives of other people and wish to have a life like theirs. I didn’t want the life I had and thought if only I can get to where they are, I will be fulfilled. But just because they appear to be happy, it does not mean that they really are.

Many of us know the saying “the grass is greener on the other side.” I used to think that it was until I came to the realisation that the grass is greener where I water it. I even tried moving to another city but that failed because it was not what I had envisioned. It was a lot tougher than I thought and I found myself in a worst position then before.

 Many people move cities, countries, jobs etc in the hope of finding a fulfilled and happy life but through my own personal experiences, I have learned we can turn sour lemons into sweet tasty lemonade where we are. The place we go will not make our conditions perfect; we are the ones who make the conditions perfect by doing things that will change our lives and make us happy, and it starts within.

When we change our attitudes towards things, let go of what is wearing us down (and most of the time that includes people) we start to see things in a different light, gain a positive mindset and start achieving things thought we never could.


Sunday, 1 June 2014



For quite a while now, I have been having lunch at work by myself. I usually arrange with a colleague or a friend to meet up and have lunch together but lately I have preferred to be alone. I was never like this before. I was a person that had to be around people as much as possible. I could not stand being alone. Now things are different.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a loner. I do enjoy being in other people’s company. I spend most days (in the evening or at weekends) with friends or family but I also enjoy my own company and I think it’s something we should do regularly. It may seem odd for many, because we live a very social society where having many friends, connecting with the community and being part of something is highly encouraged, and rightly so. We develop our communication skills and learn from other people’s life experience through interaction and building relationships with others. But I also believe that solitude helps our personal growth.

If we never take time out to be by ourselves, how we will truly know ourselves? How we will be able to think about our life, where it’s taking us and what it is we need to do in order to change it?

I really value my time alone because its there that I discovered who I was, what I wanted and what I needed to do to become the person I wanted to be. Many times our lives are dictated by our circumstances and other people’s opinions because we don’t know what we want. We don’t take time out to discover what we want.

 I didn’t like myself much. I was plagued with insecurities, complexes and fear and that’s why I hated being alone. When I started to receive help for these things and learned to love myself, I no longer hated being alone. I believe when you are at peace with yourself, you start to look at yourself in a positive light, you start to be comfortable with who you are and you really enjoy your own company.

The help I received was not professional. It was spiritual help, help I received from God and those who He put in my path to guide and help me become a better me. I am still a work in a progress and have a lot to change but I am happier and in a better place then I was before.


Spending time alone

14:25 Sibon Phiri


For quite a while now, I have been having lunch at work by myself. I usually arrange with a colleague or a friend to meet up and have lunch together but lately I have preferred to be alone. I was never like this before. I was a person that had to be around people as much as possible. I could not stand being alone. Now things are different.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a loner. I do enjoy being in other people’s company. I spend most days (in the evening or at weekends) with friends or family but I also enjoy my own company and I think it’s something we should do regularly. It may seem odd for many, because we live a very social society where having many friends, connecting with the community and being part of something is highly encouraged, and rightly so. We develop our communication skills and learn from other people’s life experience through interaction and building relationships with others. But I also believe that solitude helps our personal growth.

If we never take time out to be by ourselves, how we will truly know ourselves? How we will be able to think about our life, where it’s taking us and what it is we need to do in order to change it?

I really value my time alone because its there that I discovered who I was, what I wanted and what I needed to do to become the person I wanted to be. Many times our lives are dictated by our circumstances and other people’s opinions because we don’t know what we want. We don’t take time out to discover what we want.

 I didn’t like myself much. I was plagued with insecurities, complexes and fear and that’s why I hated being alone. When I started to receive help for these things and learned to love myself, I no longer hated being alone. I believe when you are at peace with yourself, you start to look at yourself in a positive light, you start to be comfortable with who you are and you really enjoy your own company.

The help I received was not professional. It was spiritual help, help I received from God and those who He put in my path to guide and help me become a better me. I am still a work in a progress and have a lot to change but I am happier and in a better place then I was before.


Thursday, 22 May 2014

I work in a large building with thousands of colleagues and to be honest, I don’t even know every person who works in my department (there are around 600 in total) never mind those from the other departments. However, there is a lady at work who dresses really pretty. Whenever I saw her, I would think “wow, she’s always dressed elegantly.” She really does make an effort and it makes her stand out.

 A while back, I was in the ladies toilet washing my hands, and she came out of the cubicle and headed straight for the door. She just flushed the toilet, and went out without washing her hands! I was quite shocked! At that moment all that prettiness and elegance went out of the window for something as trivial as not washing her hands. Every time I saw her I couldn't help but think of that moment in the ladies toilet. Even when I didn't want to think about it, every time i saw her, it would come back in my mind and I couldn't look at her in the same way I did before.

 I couldn't help but relate this experience to the way our image or the way a person looks at us can be damaged because of the way we said something (in a rude, harsh way), we promised to do something or go somewhere and we failed to keep our word and worst, we didn't even apologise for not doing it. Or maybe we acted in an inappropriate way and that hurt someone who admired us. I know that nobody is perfect! In fact we will never be prefect because we make mistakes but that doesn't mean that we cannot at least try our best to live an exemplary life and have an exemplary conduct. The way we act, react towards things and behave says a lot about who we are as people, and if we act negatively, we can end up damaging our image.

  How many famous people, people in power and who were once greatly admired have had their image destroyed because they had an affair, we’re caught taking drugs, found out to be an abuser and the list goes on? Though they try to do a lot of good works, especially charitable works to take away that negative label they now have, they will always be known as that president who had an affair, that singer who beat up his girlfriend, that actor who fell into a drug addiction….Some people just can’t give them the respect they once earned through their talent or good will.

 We should watch ourselves so that we too don’t end up having a negative label because we failed to watch our conduct and control ourselves.

Ruined image

12:01 Sibon Phiri
I work in a large building with thousands of colleagues and to be honest, I don’t even know every person who works in my department (there are around 600 in total) never mind those from the other departments. However, there is a lady at work who dresses really pretty. Whenever I saw her, I would think “wow, she’s always dressed elegantly.” She really does make an effort and it makes her stand out.

 A while back, I was in the ladies toilet washing my hands, and she came out of the cubicle and headed straight for the door. She just flushed the toilet, and went out without washing her hands! I was quite shocked! At that moment all that prettiness and elegance went out of the window for something as trivial as not washing her hands. Every time I saw her I couldn't help but think of that moment in the ladies toilet. Even when I didn't want to think about it, every time i saw her, it would come back in my mind and I couldn't look at her in the same way I did before.

 I couldn't help but relate this experience to the way our image or the way a person looks at us can be damaged because of the way we said something (in a rude, harsh way), we promised to do something or go somewhere and we failed to keep our word and worst, we didn't even apologise for not doing it. Or maybe we acted in an inappropriate way and that hurt someone who admired us. I know that nobody is perfect! In fact we will never be prefect because we make mistakes but that doesn't mean that we cannot at least try our best to live an exemplary life and have an exemplary conduct. The way we act, react towards things and behave says a lot about who we are as people, and if we act negatively, we can end up damaging our image.

  How many famous people, people in power and who were once greatly admired have had their image destroyed because they had an affair, we’re caught taking drugs, found out to be an abuser and the list goes on? Though they try to do a lot of good works, especially charitable works to take away that negative label they now have, they will always be known as that president who had an affair, that singer who beat up his girlfriend, that actor who fell into a drug addiction….Some people just can’t give them the respect they once earned through their talent or good will.

 We should watch ourselves so that we too don’t end up having a negative label because we failed to watch our conduct and control ourselves.

I always labelled myself as someone who was not creative at all! I would look to people who knew how to mix and match clothes well, come up with their own creative designs and pull off a neat outfit, and think “woooow they’re so creative and talented.” But I never had the audacity to step out of my shell and try to learn how to be creative.

 If I wanted something done, I would ask others to do it for me. If I had old, ripped and stained clothes, I would bin them. I never thought about recycling or making a new outfit or bag out of them. I have really nice skirts and tops that I haven’t worn for a long time, simply because of a small tear or broken zip, that I could have fixed by now! The truth is, I was being narrow minded, lazy had been procrastinating until now!! I was inspired and finally took action on the inspiration given to me to start recycling old clothes, re-using stained and ripped clothes and being creative with my wardrobe. 

 Yesterday I sewed two pieces of clothing to make one…as you can see below. I currently have a bag full of clothes that need altering and I have so many ideas in my head and on paper of what I am going to do with them! I’m aiming to work on one piece of clothing each week and I am looking forward it. It’s funny, something I wasn’t interested in doing for myself, has become something I am excited about!

  I didn’t feel like learning how to sew again and being creative with my clothes, but when I decided to do it anyway, regardless of whether I felt like it or not, I learned two things: 1) If we keep waiting to feel like starting something, we will never start because our feelings are like the weather, they change all the time. 2) Creativity is something we can learn and develop, if we are willing to invest time into it.

My new hobby :)

11:38 Sibon Phiri
I always labelled myself as someone who was not creative at all! I would look to people who knew how to mix and match clothes well, come up with their own creative designs and pull off a neat outfit, and think “woooow they’re so creative and talented.” But I never had the audacity to step out of my shell and try to learn how to be creative.

 If I wanted something done, I would ask others to do it for me. If I had old, ripped and stained clothes, I would bin them. I never thought about recycling or making a new outfit or bag out of them. I have really nice skirts and tops that I haven’t worn for a long time, simply because of a small tear or broken zip, that I could have fixed by now! The truth is, I was being narrow minded, lazy had been procrastinating until now!! I was inspired and finally took action on the inspiration given to me to start recycling old clothes, re-using stained and ripped clothes and being creative with my wardrobe. 

 Yesterday I sewed two pieces of clothing to make one…as you can see below. I currently have a bag full of clothes that need altering and I have so many ideas in my head and on paper of what I am going to do with them! I’m aiming to work on one piece of clothing each week and I am looking forward it. It’s funny, something I wasn’t interested in doing for myself, has become something I am excited about!

  I didn’t feel like learning how to sew again and being creative with my clothes, but when I decided to do it anyway, regardless of whether I felt like it or not, I learned two things: 1) If we keep waiting to feel like starting something, we will never start because our feelings are like the weather, they change all the time. 2) Creativity is something we can learn and develop, if we are willing to invest time into it.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014




Continuing with what I wrote last night, true beauty really is skin deep. . This is what I believe. I have known very attractive and pretty women who from a glance look so good but the moment they open their mouth, that beauty soon fades and they become ugly because of the things they say and even do. With time some people lose their good looks due to an unhealthy lifestyle or even with age so physical beauty can be seen as something temporary as it does not last. 

However, the true beauty, the one that comes from within lasts forever. When we overcome our insecurities, complexes and inner issues, we become beautiful. When we have a lot of ugly things inside of us, such as hatred, jealousy, envy, grudges and bitterness, we can even have a pretty face but the prettiness will soon be outshun by the ugliness inside, because it will manifest itself more day. 

A beautiful person is also selfless, they don’t think about themselves only. They understand there is a world outside their own and they want to make a positive contribution to it. They are not stuck up or vain, but they are giving. They even have a past but their determination and drive to be someone has given them an inspiring present and they will go on to have a great future.

Take a look at this video below of a young lady who, from face value a lot of people would not see any beauty in her but when she speaks and shares with everyone the challenges she has faced but more importantly how she overcame them, you see her inner beauty. 

She knows who she is, and what she stands for. She does not depend on cosmetics, fashion or even people for her to feel loved or confident. She worked on herself from the inside out and you will see how happy she is. Now this is what I call someone who is truly beautiful. 

What makes a person beautiful?

15:46 Sibon Phiri



Continuing with what I wrote last night, true beauty really is skin deep. . This is what I believe. I have known very attractive and pretty women who from a glance look so good but the moment they open their mouth, that beauty soon fades and they become ugly because of the things they say and even do. With time some people lose their good looks due to an unhealthy lifestyle or even with age so physical beauty can be seen as something temporary as it does not last. 

However, the true beauty, the one that comes from within lasts forever. When we overcome our insecurities, complexes and inner issues, we become beautiful. When we have a lot of ugly things inside of us, such as hatred, jealousy, envy, grudges and bitterness, we can even have a pretty face but the prettiness will soon be outshun by the ugliness inside, because it will manifest itself more day. 

A beautiful person is also selfless, they don’t think about themselves only. They understand there is a world outside their own and they want to make a positive contribution to it. They are not stuck up or vain, but they are giving. They even have a past but their determination and drive to be someone has given them an inspiring present and they will go on to have a great future.

Take a look at this video below of a young lady who, from face value a lot of people would not see any beauty in her but when she speaks and shares with everyone the challenges she has faced but more importantly how she overcame them, you see her inner beauty. 

She knows who she is, and what she stands for. She does not depend on cosmetics, fashion or even people for her to feel loved or confident. She worked on herself from the inside out and you will see how happy she is. Now this is what I call someone who is truly beautiful. 

Tuesday, 4 February 2014





Last summer I shared a story of a lady who lost her limbs after a plastic surgical procedure to enhance her buttocks went wrong. Read it here: http://sibonphiri.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/how-far-would-you-go-to-become-beautiful.html 

Now, this evening, I came across another shocking story, but this time it’s of a much younger lady, in fact she is still in her teens and was left in a coma after the plastic surgery to enhance the size of her breasts went wrong. A year on, she is still unable to walk and can barely speak. She is, as her own mother describes “like a vegetable”. 

Stories like this are becoming increasingly common due to high pressures from the media and society for women to ‘look perfect’, having a certain type of body and way of dressing. It’s so sad to see that lives are being destroyed just for the sake of wanting to fit in with what the media falsely portrays as acceptable. If these women learned to accept and love them for who they are and what they have, such things would be a rarity. I can but only imagine what this young girl is going through inside of her. The inner turmoil she is facing. 

We have heard it so many times but beauty really is only skin deep and it’s the inner beauty that outshines the outer. The outer beauty is an external attribute of what’s inside. I will speak more about this later. 

To read more about this story click here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2551030/Teen-fell-coma-year-having-getting-breast-implants-barely-speak.html#ixzz2sJYpOnmT

The price of 'beauty'.

14:30 Sibon Phiri




Last summer I shared a story of a lady who lost her limbs after a plastic surgical procedure to enhance her buttocks went wrong. Read it here: http://sibonphiri.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/how-far-would-you-go-to-become-beautiful.html 

Now, this evening, I came across another shocking story, but this time it’s of a much younger lady, in fact she is still in her teens and was left in a coma after the plastic surgery to enhance the size of her breasts went wrong. A year on, she is still unable to walk and can barely speak. She is, as her own mother describes “like a vegetable”. 

Stories like this are becoming increasingly common due to high pressures from the media and society for women to ‘look perfect’, having a certain type of body and way of dressing. It’s so sad to see that lives are being destroyed just for the sake of wanting to fit in with what the media falsely portrays as acceptable. If these women learned to accept and love them for who they are and what they have, such things would be a rarity. I can but only imagine what this young girl is going through inside of her. The inner turmoil she is facing. 

We have heard it so many times but beauty really is only skin deep and it’s the inner beauty that outshines the outer. The outer beauty is an external attribute of what’s inside. I will speak more about this later. 

To read more about this story click here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2551030/Teen-fell-coma-year-having-getting-breast-implants-barely-speak.html#ixzz2sJYpOnmT

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Last week one of my friends said something that has been on my mind every day! “We are today, what we sowed yesterday”. The more I thought about it, the more I could see how true this statement is. 

Everything that we are today is a result of the things we did yesterday! Our decisions and actions have led us to the life we are currently living and the person we are now. The seeds we sow today will determine who we will be in months to come and the kind of life we will have. 

Whatever you do, make sure you sow good seeds so you can reap true happiness, peace, prosperity, and everything else that is good. 

 To be continued...
 

We reap what we sow!

16:45 Sibon Phiri
Last week one of my friends said something that has been on my mind every day! “We are today, what we sowed yesterday”. The more I thought about it, the more I could see how true this statement is. 

Everything that we are today is a result of the things we did yesterday! Our decisions and actions have led us to the life we are currently living and the person we are now. The seeds we sow today will determine who we will be in months to come and the kind of life we will have. 

Whatever you do, make sure you sow good seeds so you can reap true happiness, peace, prosperity, and everything else that is good. 

 To be continued...
 

Saturday, 16 November 2013
This article is aimed more at women but men can benefit from it to! While I was on my lunch break yesterday, I was reading a health and beauty magazine and there were several articles talking about the importance of us women having “me time”. 

 We women, are great at raising our kids, running our homes and holding down jobs and even our own businesses but when it comes to finding time for ourselves, we are not so good at that. We even feel “guilty” for taking a break and letting our “hair down”. The article was backed up by expert advice from psychologists and doctors who were explaining how essential it is to have time for ourselves because it is good for our health, emotional well-being and helps improves the relationships with our family, friends and work colleagues.

 It has been proven that when make time for ourselves, we are more relaxed, happier, kinder and more productive in our work. The most popular “me time” moments are: Going for a walk, relaxing in the bath, going to the gym, spending time with friends, having a massage or going to the spa, spending time in the garden, getting a hair cut and watching TV.

 I confess that not making as much time as should for myself (and even my friends) is a bad habit and fighting to change. I don’t make time for myself, because I am always busy busy busy, with work, studying or voluntary work I do! It is not wrong to be busy because it keeps our minds stimulated but we have to have balance and that is what I am learning. 

 The article shared lots of different ways to invest in ourselves and how to implement them in our daily life, no matter how busy we are. I will be doing them and also sharing them with you all, for you do try yourself. 

Me time...does this really exsist?

16:33 Sibon Phiri


This article is aimed more at women but men can benefit from it to! While I was on my lunch break yesterday, I was reading a health and beauty magazine and there were several articles talking about the importance of us women having “me time”. 

 We women, are great at raising our kids, running our homes and holding down jobs and even our own businesses but when it comes to finding time for ourselves, we are not so good at that. We even feel “guilty” for taking a break and letting our “hair down”. The article was backed up by expert advice from psychologists and doctors who were explaining how essential it is to have time for ourselves because it is good for our health, emotional well-being and helps improves the relationships with our family, friends and work colleagues.

 It has been proven that when make time for ourselves, we are more relaxed, happier, kinder and more productive in our work. The most popular “me time” moments are: Going for a walk, relaxing in the bath, going to the gym, spending time with friends, having a massage or going to the spa, spending time in the garden, getting a hair cut and watching TV.

 I confess that not making as much time as should for myself (and even my friends) is a bad habit and fighting to change. I don’t make time for myself, because I am always busy busy busy, with work, studying or voluntary work I do! It is not wrong to be busy because it keeps our minds stimulated but we have to have balance and that is what I am learning. 

 The article shared lots of different ways to invest in ourselves and how to implement them in our daily life, no matter how busy we are. I will be doing them and also sharing them with you all, for you do try yourself. 

Friday, 25 October 2013


I was in town with my sister today and she approached a homeless man. She wanted to help him but he was not willing to listen to her. Even when she offered to buy him a hot drink because it was quite cold he refused. He kept complaining that no one helps him and can help him. She even asked him to speak to me because I was once in his position; yes I was once homeless, so I was able to indentify with his situation, but he didn't want to hear. A few hours later I saw him still begging in the same area. 

Some people are so used to their situation that when someone comes along with an opportunity to better their situation they are quick to decline the help being offered. Even when they are at the 'bottom of the pit', some still insist that they don't need help. I understand that some people have been disappointed by false hope and failures that now they are reluctant to trust again but unless they change their mentality and try a new approach, they will continue to be STUCK in the miserable life they are in.

I was once like this man, very stubborn and proud to accept help from others when I truly needed it. I continued living a very bitter and miserable life until I humbled myself and realised I needed help to change the situation I was facing. I thank God for those who were patient with me and didn't give up on me, even when I had given up on myself.

 Maybe you are being presented with opportunities that will change your life, better your situation and lead you to progress further, but you are you are being too proud, stubborn or fearful. Don't be like this. GET UNSTUCK and grab the opportunities with both hands.

www.uckg.org

Stuck?

16:15 Sibon Phiri

I was in town with my sister today and she approached a homeless man. She wanted to help him but he was not willing to listen to her. Even when she offered to buy him a hot drink because it was quite cold he refused. He kept complaining that no one helps him and can help him. She even asked him to speak to me because I was once in his position; yes I was once homeless, so I was able to indentify with his situation, but he didn't want to hear. A few hours later I saw him still begging in the same area. 

Some people are so used to their situation that when someone comes along with an opportunity to better their situation they are quick to decline the help being offered. Even when they are at the 'bottom of the pit', some still insist that they don't need help. I understand that some people have been disappointed by false hope and failures that now they are reluctant to trust again but unless they change their mentality and try a new approach, they will continue to be STUCK in the miserable life they are in.

I was once like this man, very stubborn and proud to accept help from others when I truly needed it. I continued living a very bitter and miserable life until I humbled myself and realised I needed help to change the situation I was facing. I thank God for those who were patient with me and didn't give up on me, even when I had given up on myself.

 Maybe you are being presented with opportunities that will change your life, better your situation and lead you to progress further, but you are you are being too proud, stubborn or fearful. Don't be like this. GET UNSTUCK and grab the opportunities with both hands.

www.uckg.org


The other day I was watching the first part of a documentary callled 'Women Behind Bars - With Trevor MacDonald' and I must say I found parts of it disturbing. My heart felt like it was bleeding while listening to the stories of some of the prison inmates and what led them to be condemmned to life in prison.
What caught my attention and probably disturbed me the most is the segration confined unit they have where prisoners who are placed there have no contact with any other prisoner and spend 23 hours a day locked in their cell, all alone. They cannot even recieve letters from family and friends nor write to them. The only time they leave their cell is probably to bathe and eat that's it. Though I don't condone what they have done, I felt sorry for them.

 I couldn't help but think how depressing and tormenting it must be to spend 23 hours of your day, everyday, staring at the same four walls with no one to talk to. It can make a person go crazy and one inmate said how it drives her insane at times. One of the prison wardens explained that it's a punishment unit for bad behaviour and a place where they can think about their actions. Women are usually locked up there for a short period of time but one lady has been on the unit for 5 years after 'embarassing' the U.S authorities 5 years ago when she escaped from prison and was on the run for 4 months. She is already serving a 110 year prison sentence for double homocide prior to her escape but now faces most of her life locked up in this unit.

I started to think about how I used to be a prisoner. Not living in an actual prison but inside of me. A prisoner to insecurities, fears and phobias, complexes and so many other internal and emotional issues that paralysed me within and impeded me from pursuing certain things. Yes, I was a prisoner to past traumas that practically dictated my every move. Whenever I wanted to do something a fear came over me and a rememberance of certain negative things that happened caused me to back down from taking positive steps to change my life.

 And maybe this is you today. You are a prisoner to grudges and resentment because you can't forgive someone who hurt you. Maybe you have never dealt with a traumatic experience that happened and it's consuming you everyday. Depression, addicition, loneliness and sickness has made you feel like things will never get better for you. You feel STUCK. If this is you and you want to find freedom within and in a certain area of your life then I invite you to attend the UNSTUCK EVENT taking place at UCKG Helpcentre's across the world.

Wherever you are, there may be a Help Centre close to you and I advise you to go on this website www.uckg.org or contact me directly to find the nearest one to you. Enough of wollowing in self pity about our situation. Let's do something about and take action to get UNSTUCK.

Prisoner

02:27 Sibon Phiri


The other day I was watching the first part of a documentary callled 'Women Behind Bars - With Trevor MacDonald' and I must say I found parts of it disturbing. My heart felt like it was bleeding while listening to the stories of some of the prison inmates and what led them to be condemmned to life in prison.
What caught my attention and probably disturbed me the most is the segration confined unit they have where prisoners who are placed there have no contact with any other prisoner and spend 23 hours a day locked in their cell, all alone. They cannot even recieve letters from family and friends nor write to them. The only time they leave their cell is probably to bathe and eat that's it. Though I don't condone what they have done, I felt sorry for them.

 I couldn't help but think how depressing and tormenting it must be to spend 23 hours of your day, everyday, staring at the same four walls with no one to talk to. It can make a person go crazy and one inmate said how it drives her insane at times. One of the prison wardens explained that it's a punishment unit for bad behaviour and a place where they can think about their actions. Women are usually locked up there for a short period of time but one lady has been on the unit for 5 years after 'embarassing' the U.S authorities 5 years ago when she escaped from prison and was on the run for 4 months. She is already serving a 110 year prison sentence for double homocide prior to her escape but now faces most of her life locked up in this unit.

I started to think about how I used to be a prisoner. Not living in an actual prison but inside of me. A prisoner to insecurities, fears and phobias, complexes and so many other internal and emotional issues that paralysed me within and impeded me from pursuing certain things. Yes, I was a prisoner to past traumas that practically dictated my every move. Whenever I wanted to do something a fear came over me and a rememberance of certain negative things that happened caused me to back down from taking positive steps to change my life.

 And maybe this is you today. You are a prisoner to grudges and resentment because you can't forgive someone who hurt you. Maybe you have never dealt with a traumatic experience that happened and it's consuming you everyday. Depression, addicition, loneliness and sickness has made you feel like things will never get better for you. You feel STUCK. If this is you and you want to find freedom within and in a certain area of your life then I invite you to attend the UNSTUCK EVENT taking place at UCKG Helpcentre's across the world.

Wherever you are, there may be a Help Centre close to you and I advise you to go on this website www.uckg.org or contact me directly to find the nearest one to you. Enough of wollowing in self pity about our situation. Let's do something about and take action to get UNSTUCK.

Friday, 27 September 2013



Over the years I have made so many different friends. Friends from school, college, university, church, work, my neighbourhood and those I met on online. When I look back to my school days there are only 2 friends that I am still close to. The rest I hardly see and when I do it's a simple; "Hi, how are you?” Then on our way we go. With age and going in different paths, we have grown apart. It's a shame really because with some, I really thought we'd be “bredrins 4 life.” 

When I came across the quote above, certain friends immediately came to my mind. I have friends I don't see that much because they live in another city, work abroad or have busy schedules but despite the distance and our personal lives we are still close. When we get together we have so much to share and talk about. 

I have a friend that I can spend 2 hours talking over the phone or via Skype to without our conversations running dry because we're never short of things to say. I have 4 friends in particular that I love to visit and when I do, I never leave at the time I planned. I end up staying there for a few extra hours and leave late because the company is so good I don't want to leave. 

 I value the true friends I have because despite our personal battles and busy lives, we still make time to contact each other, know what is going on in each other lives and support one another through difficult moments.

True friends

18:57 Sibon Phiri


Over the years I have made so many different friends. Friends from school, college, university, church, work, my neighbourhood and those I met on online. When I look back to my school days there are only 2 friends that I am still close to. The rest I hardly see and when I do it's a simple; "Hi, how are you?” Then on our way we go. With age and going in different paths, we have grown apart. It's a shame really because with some, I really thought we'd be “bredrins 4 life.” 

When I came across the quote above, certain friends immediately came to my mind. I have friends I don't see that much because they live in another city, work abroad or have busy schedules but despite the distance and our personal lives we are still close. When we get together we have so much to share and talk about. 

I have a friend that I can spend 2 hours talking over the phone or via Skype to without our conversations running dry because we're never short of things to say. I have 4 friends in particular that I love to visit and when I do, I never leave at the time I planned. I end up staying there for a few extra hours and leave late because the company is so good I don't want to leave. 

 I value the true friends I have because despite our personal battles and busy lives, we still make time to contact each other, know what is going on in each other lives and support one another through difficult moments.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013


 The Love School Event, what can I say? It was better than I expected. It was totally awesome. It was well organised, it didn't take long for us to get to our seat (considering there were over 11,000 people there); the entertainment which was like an X Factor style singing contest got the crowd going; the surprise marriage proposal from a young gentleman who attended with his girlfriend was so sweet and the practical teachings, advice and tips were on point and eye opening. To top it all off I was surrounded by lovely and down to earth people which made it a great atmosphere. My friends and I enjoyed it. It was definitely worth the money and 3 hour drive. 

 What did I learn? Soooo much! If you weren't there you really did miss out because we learned things that will change relationships and peoples lives as a whole. One thing I will share is how important it is to be happy within yourself first because you can't give to others what you don't have yourself. I'm sure you're all aware of the Bible's commandment "love your neighbour as you know yourself." 

 Notice the word "AS", which indicates that the way we treat ourselves is shown in the way we treat others. If you don't know how to love, you can't give it. I will write more about more about this in my next post as it's something I learned a while ago and when I put t into practice, it changed the way I looked at myself and my relationships with people.

My friends and I outside Wembley Arena, before the Love School started

The marriage proposal


The Love School Event

07:50 Sibon Phiri

The Love School Event, what can I say? It was better than I expected. It was totally awesome. It was well organised, it didn't take long for us to get to our seat (considering there were over 11,000 people there); the entertainment which was like an X Factor style singing contest got the crowd going; the surprise marriage proposal from a young gentleman who attended with his girlfriend was so sweet and the practical teachings, advice and tips were on point and eye opening. To top it all off I was surrounded by lovely and down to earth people which made it a great atmosphere. My friends and I enjoyed it. It was definitely worth the money and 3 hour drive. 

 What did I learn? Soooo much! If you weren't there you really did miss out because we learned things that will change relationships and peoples lives as a whole. One thing I will share is how important it is to be happy within yourself first because you can't give to others what you don't have yourself. I'm sure you're all aware of the Bible's commandment "love your neighbour as you know yourself." 

 Notice the word "AS", which indicates that the way we treat ourselves is shown in the way we treat others. If you don't know how to love, you can't give it. I will write more about more about this in my next post as it's something I learned a while ago and when I put t into practice, it changed the way I looked at myself and my relationships with people.

My friends and I outside Wembley Arena, before the Love School started

The marriage proposal


Friday, 30 August 2013

My friend Stephanie shares her love life experience :) 

Bulletproof Marriage

12:47 Sibon Phiri
My friend Stephanie shares her love life experience :) 

Thursday, 29 August 2013

So where do I begin? I started playing the dating game at age 11. Yes that's right, when I finished primary school and entered my first year at secondary school, my body developed quite quickly. So, though I was only 12, I had the shape of a 15/16 year old and attracted a lot of guys who were older than me because guys were attracted to my body, I focused on my physical appearance a lot and had a lot of complexes especially when I didn't receive the attention from boys.

 I went through some hurtful experiences in my love life that made me a bitter person. There was a time when my(ex) boyfriend surprised me surprised me with a lovely personalised painting in front of all my friends and his friends. I felt so proud and appreciated. But then I later found out that he told my best friend at the time that he wished he could have given it to her instead because he was really in love with her! That was a slap in the face. 

There was a time that someone who I really liked was persuading me to sleep with him. I really wanted to wait because I thought he was special but he kept insisting so I gave in because I liked him a lot. It lasted for around 10/15 minutes. When we finished, he immediately me, alone. This is just two out of the many hurts I faced in my love life. But I cannot pretend that I was always a victim. I have hurt others too. I have cheated, used and taken advantage of guys. The things that I have done and the things done to me have been greatly shameful.

I started attending a place called the UCKG Help Centre and seeing that others had changed their ways and were receiving the help, guidance and support from people there, I decided to change. I took a decision to cut certain people off and change the way I looked at myself. I also took a decision to focus on more important things like career, building my home and managing my finances. 

I no longer have problems with boys or give myself to men easily. I wouldn't say I am suffering in my love life but I am attending the Love school event because I want to know how to get it right and succeed in this area of my life that brought me so much pain - once and for all!

 Ada Akpala - Nottingham, United Kingdom

The dating game brought me nothing but pain.

14:29 Sibon Phiri
So where do I begin? I started playing the dating game at age 11. Yes that's right, when I finished primary school and entered my first year at secondary school, my body developed quite quickly. So, though I was only 12, I had the shape of a 15/16 year old and attracted a lot of guys who were older than me because guys were attracted to my body, I focused on my physical appearance a lot and had a lot of complexes especially when I didn't receive the attention from boys.

 I went through some hurtful experiences in my love life that made me a bitter person. There was a time when my(ex) boyfriend surprised me surprised me with a lovely personalised painting in front of all my friends and his friends. I felt so proud and appreciated. But then I later found out that he told my best friend at the time that he wished he could have given it to her instead because he was really in love with her! That was a slap in the face. 

There was a time that someone who I really liked was persuading me to sleep with him. I really wanted to wait because I thought he was special but he kept insisting so I gave in because I liked him a lot. It lasted for around 10/15 minutes. When we finished, he immediately me, alone. This is just two out of the many hurts I faced in my love life. But I cannot pretend that I was always a victim. I have hurt others too. I have cheated, used and taken advantage of guys. The things that I have done and the things done to me have been greatly shameful.

I started attending a place called the UCKG Help Centre and seeing that others had changed their ways and were receiving the help, guidance and support from people there, I decided to change. I took a decision to cut certain people off and change the way I looked at myself. I also took a decision to focus on more important things like career, building my home and managing my finances. 

I no longer have problems with boys or give myself to men easily. I wouldn't say I am suffering in my love life but I am attending the Love school event because I want to know how to get it right and succeed in this area of my life that brought me so much pain - once and for all!

 Ada Akpala - Nottingham, United Kingdom
I have been so busy lately working hard for the upcoming Love School Event that will be taking place at London's Wembley Arena on the 22nd of September. I attended the Love School Event last year and I learned so much. This one is going to be even better, with nearly 12,000 people attending from all over Europe and I am so looking forward to it. In run up to this special event, I will be sharing some of my friend's love life experiences. Some are happily married today and some single and looking for their other half, but this time, doing things the right way. They will be sharing their stories which will no doubt inspire and help you. Keep tuned in. 


The Love School Event

10:14 Sibon Phiri
I have been so busy lately working hard for the upcoming Love School Event that will be taking place at London's Wembley Arena on the 22nd of September. I attended the Love School Event last year and I learned so much. This one is going to be even better, with nearly 12,000 people attending from all over Europe and I am so looking forward to it. In run up to this special event, I will be sharing some of my friend's love life experiences. Some are happily married today and some single and looking for their other half, but this time, doing things the right way. They will be sharing their stories which will no doubt inspire and help you. Keep tuned in. 


Friday, 26 July 2013

Today I was thinking of certain friends of mine who I have not seen for a while. Some of them live in another city, one is working abroad and the others, though we live in the same city, we do not see each other a lot due to our busy schedules. However, when we do get together its bliss. It’s like we were never apart. 

This is how good our friendship is. Even when we do not see each other for a while, somewhere we are still there for each other in time of need, even if it is in thought or prayer. I never forget them and I know they don’t forget about me either. I thank God for such friends. 


Good friends

08:48 Sibon Phiri
Today I was thinking of certain friends of mine who I have not seen for a while. Some of them live in another city, one is working abroad and the others, though we live in the same city, we do not see each other a lot due to our busy schedules. However, when we do get together its bliss. It’s like we were never apart. 

This is how good our friendship is. Even when we do not see each other for a while, somewhere we are still there for each other in time of need, even if it is in thought or prayer. I never forget them and I know they don’t forget about me either. I thank God for such friends. 


Friday, 5 July 2013




For someone who spent most of my childhood and teens chatting back to my parents and always wanting the last word, it was not surprising that I entered adulthood very argumentative. As I write this I remember people saying “there is no point arguing with Sibon because you will never win.” And it was so. I had to have the last word! I was very proud and stubborn to hear other people’s arguments and opinions. It is something I am still working on to change completely but I have improved a lot, I tell you. I now have become tired of arguing. I don’t like it and avoid conversations, people and situations where I anticipate a foolish argument will arise. If I end up in one, I end it quickly.

 A part from being argumentative, I was also a justifier. Whenever I was challenged about something or a comment was made about me, I would justify myself to prove them wrong, but I failed every time. I ended up looking bad and made no sense to others. Fed up with justifying my actions, whereabouts and decisions, I spoke to someone who told me the following, “justifying yourself is a waste of time. When you do so, you end up losing out because God cannot justify you when you are trying to do it yourself.” When I started thinking about what she said it made sense and I started to practice what I was told. 

Now, whenever I back down and keep quiet in a disagreement or when a person has a negative perception about me and openly expresses it to others and I keep my mouth shut, two things happen; they later come back to me and apologise for judging and jumping to conclusions about me or God creates a situation for the person (and others) to see that what they thought about me was not true. 

It has been a rocky journey (without a lot of misunderstandings) and I am learning a lot about the power of silence in certain situations, but now I adopt these three attitudes: 



 



Learning to keep schtum (stumm)

08:36 Sibon Phiri



For someone who spent most of my childhood and teens chatting back to my parents and always wanting the last word, it was not surprising that I entered adulthood very argumentative. As I write this I remember people saying “there is no point arguing with Sibon because you will never win.” And it was so. I had to have the last word! I was very proud and stubborn to hear other people’s arguments and opinions. It is something I am still working on to change completely but I have improved a lot, I tell you. I now have become tired of arguing. I don’t like it and avoid conversations, people and situations where I anticipate a foolish argument will arise. If I end up in one, I end it quickly.

 A part from being argumentative, I was also a justifier. Whenever I was challenged about something or a comment was made about me, I would justify myself to prove them wrong, but I failed every time. I ended up looking bad and made no sense to others. Fed up with justifying my actions, whereabouts and decisions, I spoke to someone who told me the following, “justifying yourself is a waste of time. When you do so, you end up losing out because God cannot justify you when you are trying to do it yourself.” When I started thinking about what she said it made sense and I started to practice what I was told. 

Now, whenever I back down and keep quiet in a disagreement or when a person has a negative perception about me and openly expresses it to others and I keep my mouth shut, two things happen; they later come back to me and apologise for judging and jumping to conclusions about me or God creates a situation for the person (and others) to see that what they thought about me was not true. 

It has been a rocky journey (without a lot of misunderstandings) and I am learning a lot about the power of silence in certain situations, but now I adopt these three attitudes: 



 




Smile and Silence

02:37 Sibon Phiri

Friday, 28 June 2013

The other week, out of nowhere my mind started being bombarded with negative thoughts about my existence and a feeling on unworthiness and insignificance started to arise. I shrugged it off immediately but again it crept up later in the day and I was thinking but “why?”, “how come?”

In the evening, a dear friend of mine sent me text saying how much of a great friend I have been to her throughout the years and how she is thankful to have me in her life. The next day another close friend of mine gave me a cute friendship card! That just smacked all those negative thoughts and feelings right in the face!

Many times I used to think that I was not worth much and that I had no reason to be on this earth. Now I think differently. There is a reason why I am here and better yet, there are people who are thankful for me being here because I have and still do, help and inspire them in some way! The next time you go through the above, remember this:

We all mean something to someone.

06:03 Sibon Phiri
The other week, out of nowhere my mind started being bombarded with negative thoughts about my existence and a feeling on unworthiness and insignificance started to arise. I shrugged it off immediately but again it crept up later in the day and I was thinking but “why?”, “how come?”

In the evening, a dear friend of mine sent me text saying how much of a great friend I have been to her throughout the years and how she is thankful to have me in her life. The next day another close friend of mine gave me a cute friendship card! That just smacked all those negative thoughts and feelings right in the face!

Many times I used to think that I was not worth much and that I had no reason to be on this earth. Now I think differently. There is a reason why I am here and better yet, there are people who are thankful for me being here because I have and still do, help and inspire them in some way! The next time you go through the above, remember this:

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