The dating game brought me nothing but pain.

So where do I begin? I started playing the dating game at age 11. Yes that's right, when I finished primary school and entered my first year at secondary school, my body developed quite quickly. So, though I was only 12, I had the shape of a 15/16 year old and attracted a lot of guys who were older than me because guys were attracted to my body, I focused on my physical appearance a lot and had a lot of complexes especially when I didn't receive the attention from boys.

 I went through some hurtful experiences in my love life that made me a bitter person. There was a time when my(ex) boyfriend surprised me surprised me with a lovely personalised painting in front of all my friends and his friends. I felt so proud and appreciated. But then I later found out that he told my best friend at the time that he wished he could have given it to her instead because he was really in love with her! That was a slap in the face. 

There was a time that someone who I really liked was persuading me to sleep with him. I really wanted to wait because I thought he was special but he kept insisting so I gave in because I liked him a lot. It lasted for around 10/15 minutes. When we finished, he immediately me, alone. This is just two out of the many hurts I faced in my love life. But I cannot pretend that I was always a victim. I have hurt others too. I have cheated, used and taken advantage of guys. The things that I have done and the things done to me have been greatly shameful.

I started attending a place called the UCKG Help Centre and seeing that others had changed their ways and were receiving the help, guidance and support from people there, I decided to change. I took a decision to cut certain people off and change the way I looked at myself. I also took a decision to focus on more important things like career, building my home and managing my finances. 

I no longer have problems with boys or give myself to men easily. I wouldn't say I am suffering in my love life but I am attending the Love school event because I want to know how to get it right and succeed in this area of my life that brought me so much pain - once and for all!

 Ada Akpala - Nottingham, United Kingdom