"We forget what we choose to forget", is something that has been on my mind for the past week. When I look to the person I am now and the person I was, say one year ago, I see how true this statement is. For such a long time, I held on to a childhood trauma that molded me into a very insecure and paranoid person. Day by day, I become fearful of history repeating itself so I did not trust anyone, not even myself. Wrapped up in guilt about the countless mistakes I had made and constantly reminding myself about them, I avoided certain places and even people so I wouldn't relive the shame or embarrassment. The disappointment I felt towards a trusted friend or family member who let me down, created feelings of resentment and distrust, making me to ignore them and vowing never to let anyone hurt me again. Regularly reliving these events in my mind or burdening a friend with my compliments made me into a bitter person and impeded me or my life from moving forward. I was allowing these things to hold me back and even drag me down.
Only when I decided one day to forget the past, forget what he/she said or did to me and move on, could I finally be free and begin to change within. After this decision, the past many times tried to throw itself back in my face and make me weak, but I decided not to allow it to affect me anymore or influence how I am towards people or how I choose to live my life. I decided to forget the mistakes I made, the moments of shame and embarrassment, the hurt and disappointment, the traumas and everything that was making me into such a negative and pessimistic person. It was not easy at first, and I really had to work on my thoughts and program my mind to reject the negative thoughts, but through using my faith and the help of God, I overcame and I am still overcome every time the past tries to come against me.
Today, I am a genuinely happy person. I look forward to each day God gives me and I am not longer afraid. I have been able to re-build friendships that were once torn, I have a clear conscience and most importantly, at peace with myself and God.
So, if you feel stuck or you life is not moving forward, look deep within you and see if you are holding on to something, maybe a negative word someone said to you, complexes, fear, a grudge or a trauma from the past. If you no longer want to be held back by it, make a decision to leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Decide to become a different person and change your thoughts, only allowing yourself to remember the good memories of the past.
If you are finding it hard then seek help from the only One that can help you, which is God. Friends can have sympathy for you and TRY to understand but only God can remove the burden and sorrow inside and help you to overcome.
We really do forget what we choose to forget, remember that!
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