Changed, but not perfect.

Those who have known me for a long time know just how negative I was towards myself. I had very low self-esteem, doubted my abilities and was completely full of insecurities and complexes. It took a long time for me to gain confidence, develop self-belief and overcome the doubts. As I fought to change my mind-set, I became a positive person. With this new found inner positivity, I started to change things about myself and things that were not good in me and in my life. I started doing things I was once afraid to do. I quickly noticed how certain people around me began to criticize me heavily, judging and belittling me, even in front of others, about things I had changed and other things I was still fighting to change.

With this experience, I learned how we have to be very careful when dealing with people. Too often we can find ourselves criticizing and judging them on the very thing they are silently fighting hard to change. Instead of helping and supporting them, we can end up bringing them down, making it harder for them to change. I could see that a lot of what was being said about me was things I had already changed. I was no longer that person I was before. Have you noticed how easily people bring back things from the past when they cannot think of anything new to pick at? Also, they never say it privately, but always in front of people, to humiliate you.

 During the past 3 weeks, I have fully understood that although we are not perfect and never will be, we have to be confident in who we have become and the changes that have occurred in us, without allowing what we hear, feel or see to make us doubt those changes and feel inferior or insecure. I always remember where I came from and the pit God has taken me out of, as well as all the things I have overcome up until now. This assures me that I have come a long way and as I keep pressing on, I will go further. If I look back, there will be no hope for me because the past cannot bring about a change, just frustration.