Understanding others

“Oh my gosh, she’s dressed like she’s going to a rave rather than going to church. Why do I bother, I try my best to be nice to them but they throw it back in my face. The least he could have done is waved or had the decency to say hello back, how rude”. How many times have these thoughts crossed our minds when we see someone wearing something we believe is inappropriate for church, or when we go all out for our family but they show no gratitude or when we say hello to someone we know and they ignore us? I used to judge them, constantly bombarded with evil thoughts about people. It was even worse when somebody would say something about me that I did not like or would gossip behind my back. I would get so angry and upset. I would go all out to make them know how I felt about them.

However, within time I began to change. I began to realise that no one is good, not even myself. We all have mistakes and shortcomings. I started to look at myself instead of others and realised I had a big problem inside of me. I was so judgmental and critical of others and I thought I was better than then. Little did I realise, I was worse than them.

So I started to understand those I so often judged. I started to understand why the young girl would dress as she did. Maybe that was all she had nice in her wardrobe and as she was new to the faith, did not yet know any better. She had not yet been taught. In fact, I started to remember how I used to dress, mini skirts, tight low cut tops where everything was practically hanging out. How shameful I looked and felt. I started to understand that sometimes a persons mind is somewhere else and they are so deep in thought that they accidentally pass you by without noticing you. Or sometimes my face is all screwed up and they are afraid to approach me, not knowing how I will respond to them. And as for my family, I should not expect anything from them. Who am I to judge them? Do I not remember how I used to be before I came to God, cold, ungrateful and distant? So why do I feel I can judge them also. Maybe they just do not know how to show gratitude or have many things going on in their minds.

You see, I started to understand, I started not to judge. Instead of judging them, I help them. I put myself in other their shoes, remembering how I used to be and how people were patient (and still are) with me. Since this new way of thinking and treating others, it has torn down barriers, created friendships, re-built relationships, removed hostility and calmed the atmosphere.

Now I look at people in a different way. I look at myself in a different way and above all I look at God as the only one who is good and I can truly rely on.

Galatians 6:1 Brethen, if a man is overtaken in any tresspass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted".